Recently in jonah Category
JBM started his last year at Lily Pad today. Though there was much mirth and merriment about him being out of the house for an extended period of time, there was some melancholy. But not too much because he's NOT IN THE HOUSE! WOO HOO!
Here's a photo from Halloween of Jonah and his buddy Ray The Dinosaur as they embark on their Halloween revelry. Mirth, merriment and web shooting ensued.
So, Big Daddy was going through the trainwreck that is his desk this fine Saturday evening, Lo and behold, what did he find? A neglected SD card. Hmm, wonder what's on this?
Photos from our trip to Utah of course. FROM BACK IN APRIL.
Hopefully, this photo will lower your core body temperature during these balmy July days. Stick around, who knows what he'll find three months from now.
For those of you keeping track at home, here's another milestone to check off. Jonah has made the leap (and we do mean leap) from crib to twin bid (a.k.a. Big Boy Bed). So far, so good *cough cough*.
And when we say leap, we do mean leap. Jonah got in his idea to do backwards leaps using his crib headboard whilst holding onto the side rails. Sometimes, he even managed the full flip, much to his delight. Good times, good times. Only aged Mommy and Daddy an additional 10 years.
Thus, we decided to upgrade and what you see above is our little Pride and Joy surrounded by his current favorite brands: Thomas the Tank Engine and WALL-E (Animusic thankfully doesn't make any bedroom related items). Thanks to The Woodsworth Trio for the Thomas bed tent thingamabob!
We'll leave it to your imaginations as to why the guard rail is there (You don't see the bruise on his forehead, do you?).
People, I can't stress this enough, DO NOT PUT electric eels in the bathtub with your toddler.
It seems like only yesterday, our wee bairn was born. And now, lo and behold, it’s 3 years later and he’s turning into quite the little boy. We celebrated by heading down to San Diego for a trip to SeaWorld and the San Diego Model Railroad Museum. Much fun was had and many gaskets were blown. JBM set a land speed record for running from one train to another we think. Needless to say, we are so proud.
Then it was back home for our annual doctor’s visit. Update your scorecards, as JBM now weighs in at 38 pounds and heights in at 38 inches. He’s a perfect square, which makes no sense for someone born on 3.14.
Thanks to everyone who sent cards and presents. We are overwhelmed with your kindness.
Did you know that Halloween costumes also function as pajamas? No? Now you do. The Monkey is back.
Thanks to a whole slew of generous relatives, JBM made out like a bandit this Christmas (his third one for those counting at home). The loot is too bountiful to mention in a single blog post but suffice it to say, many electrons would be used if I were to list all the gifts.
Thanks to everyone who made it such a huge success.
Thanks to Mémère, Jonah is the proud owner of a brand new tricycle. He’s been a big fan of three wheels ever since he started pre-school so this gift was an easy three points. He’s been cruising up and down the block since he got it. The only problem is that Mom and Dad won’t let him ride in the street or bash into their cars.
Methinks we have a daredevil on our hands. Thanks Mémère!
I don’t know about you, but in our house, various laws of physics don’t apply. For instance, Newton’s so-called “Law of Gravity”? Not here. JBM is just as happy to walk on the ceiling as well as the floor.
And did you know that “in 5 minutes” actually means in “about 2 hours when I’m done with this train.”? Yep, Jonah also pays no heed to your silly Euclidian space ideas.
Why, yes. He does eat his greens.
Halloween 2008: HUGE SUCCESS! Not only is having an ambulatory boy a huge ingredient to a succesful All Hallows Eve, but a verbal one makes it even better. Make note, "Trick of Treat" and "Thank You" will net you at least two extra pieces of candy.
At first, The Boy was a tad shy but by the 76th house he was a pro and was up the walkway and back in under 20 seconds. The real surprise though was that he agreed to only eat one piece of candy at the end of the night.
Today Jonah got his first taste of interacting with the masses. He and his mother took a Culver City bus down to the Marina. Much fun was had by all parties. Dad met up with them after work for some dining nearby. He didn't make them take the bus back.
Took a little jaunt to the LA Zoo this weekend with the Pogos. You can read more about it on Spencer’s Blog. Suffice it to say much fun was had.
On Saturday, we took a little trip to Griffith Park to visit the trains and the ponies with The Boy. And, we can say, that the day was a huge success. Lots and lots of fun was had by all parties attending. JBM liked the pony ride so much that he did it twice. To top it all off, Dad won $50 bucks betting on the ponies, so the fun cost us virtually nothing.
Supposedly, they offer bulk tickets for the pony rides so JBM should be bowlegged, wearing a funny hat and saying “Giddyup” by the end of the year. Stay tuned.
Two thumbs up for Griffith Park from our family.
Using his superior negotiating skills and overwhelming charm, Jonah was able to negotiate quite the deal for the Cobra above. Would you believe Grandpa sold it to JBM for only $5?
Unfortunately, Grandpa didn't actually own the car so there was some stonewalling at the DMV. Something about title and insurance and blah blah blah. You know how bureaucracy works. By then it was time for a nap so JBM forgot all about the car and decided his dookus was blowing in the wind...whatever the heck that means.
Anyhow, we are back from a very successful vacation in Rhode Island. More posts to follow.
And so it goes.
Jonah’s good buddy L. moved away last month. He was one of the first little boys that Jonah ever met outside his immediate circle of friends. And while there was some “give and take” when it came to the sharing of toys (especially trucks), they did have a whole slew of good times together.
Quite the mixed bag, this passing of milestones. Let’s keep friends moving to other cities to a minimum, shall we people? Because it just reminds this author about The Boy someday moving out into the world. And then what would we blog about?
Jonah got to experience his first earthquake today! We had a little shaker today at around 11:42am. As you may notice, it was right around lunch time so he didn't really notice anything as he was too busy asking for food.
Count this as one experience that we'd like to happen very very rarely. Along with spontaneous combustion and immunization shots, earthquakes are things that aren't too popular in Casa JBM.
Jonah got his first bee sting today. So much for Fuzzy Bee and Friends. All lies I tell you put out by the Apoidea propaganda industry. It should be “Angry Bee and Hateful Beings.” But now Jonah knows not to pick up dead bees so it was a learning experience.
And he got a Hello Kitty bandage.
Jonah is a tad over 2 years and 3 months and he FINALLY developed his ability to walk on water. We were starting to get a tad worried that it was taking so long to manifest. But no worries, JBM came through and started walking on water today. Whew!
At the risk of offending some religious people, we won't speculate on when he'll be chasing the money changers from the temple.
Jonah and Spencer got to “borrow” Cedar’s backyard while she was visiting her grandmother in Michigan. Needless to say they, took advantage of it by sitting in her chairs and eating all her porridge. Good thing Memere was there to keep them from getting really out of hand.
After that they stole her car and took it for a joyride. Oh wait, that doesn’t happen for another 15 or so years. But really, don’t these lads look like they are old enough to drive? GAH!
Could you, esteemed reader, resist this face? Could you?
Well, I bet you could if it was screaming, “Daddy, are you waking up?” for about 15 minutes at 6AM. This coming after you went to bed at around 12:30AM. Now, could you resist?
Yeah, neither could I. Darn kids and their early rising cuteness.
Here's a photo of wee JBM at the Fire Station in Culver City. Right after this picture was taken, he sliced his finger on a fire truck. Needless to say, if you are going to suffer bodily injury, a fire house is the place to do it. Lots of band aids around.
This happened a couple of weeks ago so the trauma has passed thankfully.
Jonah got his first taste of bicycling today and boy is he hooked. If you ask him, he'll say he had fun. And to all appearances, he did.
A two hour pedal to the beach with a happy toddler is one great way to spend an afternoon, let me tell you. Hooray for happy two year olds and a kick-ass wife and rocking friends that give you a bike trailer for your birthday!
We finally got into see our pediatrician for JBM’s two year check-up. Apparently, he (the doctor, not Jonah) goes to help kids in Honduras, so he’s a superstar in our book. Jonah seems quite fond of him as well (even though he gets jabbed with a needle almost every time he sees the doc). This time he got vaccinated for Hepatitis A so now Jonah gets to eat all the unwashed lettuce and stool infested water he can find. Let me tell you, that makes parenting a whole bunch easier.
As for statistics, for those of you keeping track at home, Jonah is about 34.75 inches long and 32 pounds heavy. I say about because he was squirming and screaming during the whole process of measuring. This was before he even got his shot. Guess he knew what he had coming.
Today, Jonah turned two years old. We celebrated in grand style by first opening his present from Mommy and Daddy (wooden food he can slice!) and then going to his favorite place that doesn’t involve nodding donkeys with his best buddy in the whole world, Cedar. His Memere, Mom and Dad and Cedar’s mommy went along as well. Good times were had by all. Then it was off to his buddy Elias’ birthday party where he was kind of cranky (he is two after all) but he warmed up after a bit. Then, it was off to open Memere’s present (a pirate ship! ARRRR!) and then off to bed. His party is Sunday so expect more glad tidings then.
On the Almost Second Anniversary of the Birth of JBM, I give you the mind of a two year old:
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Wake Up. "Mommy?". "Mommy?" "Mommy!" "MOMMY!" Eat dry oatmeal. No water! Listen to Keith music. Eat oatmeal with water. Eat cereal. NO CEREAL!! Read comics. That's Jeremy. That's a bad comic. Want cow milk. New diaper. NEW DIAPAH. Play with Daddy. Where's Mommy? Bye Daddy. What's Cedar doing? Go to museum! Want to put puck in slot and the balls come down. What's Cedar doing? Who's that? What's Mommy doing? Go look at oil derricks! GO LOOK AT OIL DERRICKS! Put beans in choo chooo. Want Percy and Lady. Eat. Want to Watch Thomas DVD! Want Thomas! Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. "Mommy?" "Mommy!" "MOMMY!" Want blue milk. Want to look at oil derricks! What's Cedar doing? I have a penis. Mommy doesn't have a penis. No park! Go to park! Hi John! Hi Eve! Hi Ruby! Want water. Want to watch Thomas DVD! Watch Thomas. That's a water wheel. Oh bother. New buffers! Hi Daddy! Want Giants. Want beans. Want quarter. Eat dinner. Where's Mommy going? Mommy doing yoga. Want bath with Daddy. Daddy has a penis. Jonah has a penis. Cedar doesn't have a penis. Want Desitin on finger. Want more. Good night Daddy. Love you. That's Bobo! That's Mommy! Opera glasses! Good night mommy. Love you. Sleep well. See you tomorrow. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Go to beginning.
Yeah, so it's been awhile since a new picture of JBM was posted. What are you going to do? Sue us? Go ahead. We dare ya!
So, what's been going on with The Boy you ask? Talking! Lots and lots of talking. And singing! Sometimes signing and talking at the same time. The talking comes in quite handy when he asks for his favorite CD three bazillion times every morning so he can sing along with it
We also got his hair highlighted. It was starting to get too dark and he was getting self-conscious about it on the playground. So, we found this salon that highlights toddler hair. It only cost $520. A steal if you ask us. They also threw in a free Baby Botox injection.
Here's a picture of Jonah with his brand new haircut enjoying a wagon ride with Cedar and Ruby.
OK, here’s a bunch of photos of Jonah from the past couple of days. Enjoy! And as always, originals are available for the asking.
Needless, to say, it’s been quite the remarkable year here at Casa JBM. We got a whole bunch of walking and talking done. Lots of hugs and kisses too.
Here’s to everyone having an awesome 2008.
We guarantee there will be more Christmas related posts in the future but wanted to get this one up toute de suite. Here's a picture of Jonah chillaxin on Christmas Day. Soon after this photo was taken he launched himself into space from the excitement of all the presents he received on Christmas.
Picture courtesy of Eileen "Grandma" Cowin.
So, Daddy was putting on a tie for the office Christmas party and Jonah, in his inimitable way, asked “Whatizziz?” Upon being informed what Daddy was donning he replied with the mandatory “Want it.” Luckily, Daddy has quite the collection of ties that he has no problem letting The Boy wear while said toddler is eating dinner. That combined with Jonah’s new habit of smiling when asked, gets us the photo above. Or maybe Jonah feels pain when he wears a tie. Who can say what’s going on in the mind of that lad?
The Baby, he is no longer a baby. He is A Boy. He walks, he talks, he laughs, he cries, he poops, he drives.
Jonah continues his upward trajectory in growth (physical and mental). The crazy lad is starting to speak in full sentences. Sometimes he even tells stories. Wild convoluted stories about putting the gate down and opening doors but stories nonetheless. Call us sometime, he’ll talk to you and tell you all about it.
Avast ye scurvy wretches! Thar' be a seaworthy lad with a special present for you on the poop deck! Arrr!!
If ye not be willing to change him, ye will be keelhauled in the mornin'.
Complaints have been received in the head office about the quality of the last post. Apparently, some people don't like the derriere du Jonah. So, we hereby declare a month long hiatus of posts about Jonah's posterior. We hope this saves us from losing readers.
And yes, Jonah does wear that hat a lot.
This one is from way back on July 4th, back when we were all young and virile. Now, we are not quite so young and not quite so virile. Except for Jonah of course. He's got virility coming out of every pore in his body. It's quite messy.
My oh my, what a long strange trip it's been...and we aren't even done with the first 2% yet. The Boy turned 18 months old today. You may be asking yourself, "How do those hipster Los Angelenos celebrate their child's 18 month birthday?" No, it's not beer volcanoes and strippers. For us, it's all about trips to the doctor and immunizations. Fun fun fun for the whole family.
So, the boy got poked, prodded and measured today. Turns out he's not the same size and weight as a large safe. He's 32 inches tall and weighs 28.4 pounds. Who knew?
After that, he got a visit from his Grandma Susan and Great Aunt Helene (not at the doctors, at home silly). Nice treat as the Boy loves the ladies. From there it was a trip to the beach and a stroll along the Santa Monica Pier. then it was off to bed. Despite the caterwauling during the immunizations, it was a great day.
Happy 18 month birthday Jonah!
Welcome to the world of Jonah (or "NOnah" as he is wont to call himself). Where blog posts come very irregularly and elevators are the best thing since mother's milk and shredded cheese.
Lots of goings on in the last 60 or so days of non-posting:
- Went for a trip to RI. Great big ball of fun.
- Took swim lessons. More interested in the steps into the pool and the elevator at the pool than actual swimming.
- Learned the word "other." We are still looking for this "other daddy" character he keeps talking about.
- Started saying "I lub you." Greatest thing EVER!
But the biggest happening was that Jonah stayed in Santa Monica with his maternal grandparents (as well as visits from his great aunt) while his parents took off to the hinterlands of this country (aka Washington, DC) and picked up JBM a new aunt (HI GLORIA!). For those of you keeping track at home, that's about 2680 miles between Jonah and his parents. Prior to this trip, the longest distance between him and his parents was about 2 inches. And what did he do to celebrate his hard won independence? Why, get a fever of 104 degrees of course! Besides that it was a great success. Everyone had a great time and the grandparents even said they would do it again! He must have hit them with one of his "I lub you"s.
Big day here in JBM Land. Jonah got his first real haircut! His days as a long haired hippie are over. He's a clean cut future Republican now. (Please NO!)
There was some struggling and strum and dang but we all got through it. Yay!
After the haircut, it was time for some park time to come down from that high. Then we threw caution to the wind and hopped right back on that roller coaster we call Raising A Child. We went to get the little tyke his first pair of walking shoes! That didn't involve quite as much struggle as the hair cut. He seemed pretty happy to be wearing shoes once they were on so it was all good.
So, there you have it! Thankfully, it wasn't a day of first trip to the ER or first visit from child protective services or first day of daddy's bourbon drinking.
We are through the looking glass people. It's a brave new world. The future's so bright I gotta wear shades. All those clichés you heard are true. When your kid starts walking (like Jonah!), things change dramatically.
Yep, you got it right. Little Jonah is on the move. Hide the crackers! Lock your women up! Jonah now puts one foot in front of the other and ambulates. Sometimes he even perambulates. He's not the speediest or stablest toddler on the block so your crackers and womenfolk are safe for now. But you have been warned!
Also, because the kid doesn't have enough going on in his life right now, we've started to wean him. So far, two days sans la boobie and he's doing....mmmm...OK. He screams like a banshee for a minute or two before bed (" MMMARRGGGHHHH!!! WHERE'S MY POSTPRANDIAL SNACK!!??? I CURSE YOU AND YOUR OFFSPRING!!...uh..whoops...JUST YOU..NOT YOUR OFFSPRING!!"....zzzzzz) but he's working through it.
So, big changes are afoot. Har har.
Jonah loves him some water.
Above you will find a photo of Jonah and his buddy Cedar during her birthday. She just turned one so join us in wishing her a hearty congratulations. Go Cedar!
Below you will find a list of words that Jonah "says." They aren't all pronounced correctly (e.g. banana comes out as "nana") but that's what makes it so darned cute. Assume that anything in the list that is a noun goes in his mouth. Kudos to Mom for compiling the list. Go GB!
- bye bye
- night night
- no (oh no)
- uh oh
- yep, yeah
This one's from a while ago, about 4 months. But if you were Jonah's age, that'd be about a quarter of your life so that'd be a long time ago. (Lord knows I don't remember much from the late 90's). It's from our pal Doug's visit in February. See, I'm not the only one who takes tons of photos of the JBM.
Another successful visit by doting relatives of JBM. Not only did Grandpa and Grandma get to see Jonah eat a heaping helping of sand at the beach, they were also treated to the patented "Never Ending Runny Nose." Tis' a sight to behold let me tell you. Despite these proclivities, Jonah did manage to once again charm the pants off of them. He's like the Energizer bunny that way I guess.
The onslaught of words continues by the way. Our little JBM is actively saying no. Here's a sample of a daily conversation:
Parent: Want to take a bath Jonah?
Jonah: No. (with head shaking)
Parent: Are you ready for bed wee one?
Jonah: No.(with more head shaking)
Parent Can we put on your pajamas buddy?
Jonah: No. (emphatic head shaking)
Parent: Want to go to Disneyland?
Parent: Nicely played little man.
Well, we all made it back safe and sound from our trip to Oakland for Kieron and Erica's wedding. Woo hoo newlyweds!
Jonah got to spend some quality time with Grandma Susan and when we say quality, we mean QUALITY. The little tyke is a seducer let me tell you. He waves, he smiles he says "Hiiiii" in his sing song voice and the ladies melt. Three women in the airport almost took him with them. Which probably would have been a good thing for Mom and Dad since JBM was in the process of blowing off his afternoon nap. "You want him? Be my guest!"
Anyhoo, did you notice the little nugget of a milestone in that above paragraph? Jonah is talking! He says Hi, Buh-bye and nana (for banana). He's also starting to say bird, ball and bubble but that all comes out as Buhhh. When he drops something, he says "uh-oh" even when he drops it on purpose. It's very cute. The ladies love it. Next on the agenda for phrases he will speak are "Birdie-num-num." and "I'll change that diaper for you Dad."
What's more American than cheese and mothers I ask you?
Man, look at the long hair! He looks like he's about to move to a commune and take up with a woman named Apple (hey we kind of have an indirect connection to a kid named Apple) Doesn't he look like he needs a haircut? Doesn't he?
To be continued....
My oh my how time flies. The Boy, he is over 13 months young with nary a blog post this year. In no particular order here are the things he is trying to master:
- crawalking - a combination of crawling and walking
- talking - he's quite the conversationalist but his views on free market economics leave a bit to be desired
- getting sick - seems like he is batting over 800 in the getting sick department
- oozing - (see "getting sick")
Jonah turned 1 year old today! Woohoo! Jonah has an ear infection! Boo boo! He's been a real trooper though and trying to be a swell cat even though he's probably not feeling 100 percent. Memere (French Candadian for Grandmother Who Kisses Grandchildren A Whole Freaking Lot) is in town so that helps out quite a bit.
We don't know who gave him this "present" but we hope that they are all healed and feeling well, like we hope our boy will be soon. Notice, we didn't send the usual bile-filled, invective-ridden insult that we usually do when someone infects our boy. It's his birthday so be nice to everyone, 'k?
Photo from shuttercat7 on flickr
Well, just as our fearless JBM has recovered from a stuffy nose to end all stuffy noses, he starts getting two uppers front and center. Needless to say, he's not the happy go lucky baby you may remember from last year. He does manage to crack a smile every once in awhile. Oh, who are we kidding....despite all the pain he's in, he's the GREATEST BABY IN THE FRICKING WORLD!!!!!!!!
Whew! It's been over a month since the last update on this blog you are reading. (Thanks for reading! Leave a comment while you are here!). About all Daddy-o has been doing is putting on weight and coughing up his lungs in that time.
But he, along with the JBM and GB, did manage a "little" trip to the Right Coast. That brings Jonah up to about 10,000 air miles in his first 10 months. It also got him some quality time with the East Coast branches of his family tree. Some other statistics about Jonah you may want to read.
- Weight: 21 pounds, 9 ounces
- Height: 29 3/4 inches
- Head Circumference: Off the charts
- Tricks Mastered: 2
- Photos Taken Of: 17 squintillion
He (Jonah, not Daddy-o) is screaming along on the baby milestones as well (and we do mean screaming). Not only is he doing the whole crawling-and-pulling-himself-up and babbling-like-a-drunken sailor things, he's also reached the feeding-himself-finger-food and putting-things-inside-of-other-things milestones. Mommy and Daddy really can't wait until he reaches the pooping-in-the-toilet and washing-the-car milestones but who's counting.
On the next push we successfully sent him all the way around on the swing. He learned a valuable lesson about the importance of centrifugal force today as well as how silly humans look with a foreshortened perspective in photos.
The people, they are always saying "He looks just like you" when they see me (a.k.a. Dada, Poppa, You With The Wallet) carrying around JBM. I generally tend to brush them off with a "Lay off the pipe buddy","Drop the knife" or some other smarmy comment. That is until I saw the picture above.
Great googly moogly!
The Kid, he's the spitting image of me! How did this happen? I thought I was unique, one of a kind, a man among little girlie men. Now I have this little Oedipal usurper to the throne. This wasn't supposed to happen. But the more I think about it, the more I like it. Now I can finally go on that laundromat robbing spree I've been dreaming about for eons. Just like my childhood idol Dana Plato! When the cops come to my door, I can just say "Here's your little rapscallion officer! The Kid did it." Of course I have to wait a good 15 years before I'd be believed and by that time I'll be using a walker and carrying around an ear horn so JBM would probably get off with a good lawyer (Uncle Judd?). But still, a boy can dream can't he?
Dateline Los Angeles, CA November 2006
Here's a a semi-rare photo of The Boy enjoying bath time. Hopefully, he'll keep it up.
We plan on showing it to him every time he starts "dis-enjoying" bath time and chant "See! You can like taking a bath. See!" It's a trick we learned in a parenting book.
Kicked off our holiday shopping yesterday with a whole bunch of eating at Maison Cowin-Brecker. JBM sampled his first pumpkin and didn't spit it out on the table or his bib or his mom so we think he liked it. Luckily, he also didn't seem phased by the 13 or so crazy adults around the table. He kept us all regaled with tales of living in the womb, running with the bulls of Pamplona and juggling cats. Or at least that's what we thought he was talking about when started screeching with joy after he saw his reflection in the spoon he was holding.
Anyhow, can you guess what we are thankful for this year? Give you a hint: It's almost as big as a Butterball™ turkey but way more mobile.
Here at Casa JBM we have a little saying: "Vote early, vote often." Unfortunately, the tiniest member of the family didn't get the message because he rolled out of bed at 7A.M (well, not rolled per se, more like yelled out a plaintive "WAH" which means "Is anyone paying attention to me in here? If someone doesn't get in here in the next 30 nanoseconds, I'll be sniffing glue and selling stolen guitars by the time I'm 12! Are you out there?" in Jonahspeak).
I don't know what country he voted in before today but polling stations open at seven o'clock in these parts. Getting up at that hour (which, admittedly, is A-OK on non-voting days), kind of puts the kibbosh on getting there before all the working stiffs. So, we ambled over to the polling station about 10 A.M. where the little one was quite the hit. Volunteers love their JBM! And they let him vote! The punch cards were a little much for him but it was so cute to see him try and shove the ballots into the voting machine. He'll make a fine Republican some day. Just kidding!
By the way, someone out there (and you know who you are) gave my kid a stuffed up nose. That's why he looks partially lobotomized in the photo above. Thanks to you, he turned his crank meter up to 11 today and only took two ever-so-fleeting 30 minute micro-naps. This did not make Mommy very happy. Dad was at work when all this went down so he caught the tail end of the vortex. Anyhoo, you with the cold: you are off the Christmas list. Nyah nyah!
For more cute baby voting photos be sure to check out Harper's photo.
Took the heavyweight trick or treating for the first time in his life tonight. For those of you under 3 feet tall and 25 pounds and looking to score with the ladies, you can't go wrong with a Yoda costume. JBM had a female pirate, a barmaid and an Elvis impersonatrix drooling at his feet when he strolled by. Nothing like being short and wise, let me tell you.
One down, 31 to go. Let the good times roll.
See the happy boy above? Are you asking yourself: "Self, why would one who poops in his own pants be so darn happy"? Well, the answer you are looking for is skooching. (And don't go using Google to find the definition for that word because this is a G-rated blog). Basically, skooching is propelling yourself across a surface (usually a floor) on your belly using a combination pulling of the hands and the pushing of the legs.
While not the most efficient method of locomotion, it does get one certain seven month old closer to various and sundry objects in Grandma Susan's house (where he refined his skooching technique). Here is a small sampling of strange things that JBM has put in his mouth the past copuple of days (with nary a raised eyebrow from Mom and Dad): low hanging tablecloths, dust bunnies, speaker wires, electrical cords and small dogs. It's a whole new world here people. JBM is on the move people. Everybody do the skooch!
For those of you keeping track at home, JBM turned 7 months old today. And to celebrate he decided to cut a few teeth. Right now, dento-military analysts are saying he has two lower teeth staging a frontal assault on his gums. He's attempting to repulse the invaders with a barrage of fussiness and crankiness. It's not having much effect on the teeth but it is driving Mommy and Daddy around the bend.
Oh jeez is time going by quickly. Little JBM is now 6 months old. Can you believe it dear reader? What was once a glint in Mommy and Daddy's eyes is now a fully realized 6 month old, 20 something pound of flesh and mouth full of splinters baby! It's unreal.
No big plans of celebration here in Casa JBM. Probably just give the tyke some flour and eggs and tell him to make his own birthday cake. We need a self-sufficient baker in the house. Dad's not taking the cake.
The little JBM has really been working on expanding his cheeks (the ones on his face Aunt T.!). A popular expression in Casa JBM is calling the wee tyke the Mayor of Cheekville. Must be all the solid food that he gets on his face. They are really something else. Other things he is working on are sitting up (with a bit of help), eating his feet and sleeping through the night. He's hitting two out of those three right now. Figuring out which one isn't going so well is left as an exercise to the reader. As a hint, another popular expression around the house is Daddy saying "BLLARRGG!! WILL YOU PLEASE GO BACK TO SLEEP!" Don't ask what Mommy says.
Pretty big weekend here at Casa JBM. First off, the boy got a new toy, The Baby Einstein Discover and Play Activity Center, on Saturday. His buddy Skyla let him try it out at Klub Kallis on Friday night and he's been loving it ever since. He demanded that we sally forth into the morass that is Target on a Saturday afternoon the weekend before school starts and buy the last one. Although he's only found two of the toys on it, he's been playing with them like no other toys exist in the world. The only downside of the new toy is that it takes up about 47% of our living room. But no sacrifice is too big for the boy. Right? Like sleep?
Speaking of sleep, we started feeding the little non-sleeping monster some solid food to see if that'll help him sleep longer. And by solid food we don't mean rocks and concrete. Strangely enough, rice mixed in with breast milk to a goopy consitency is considered "solid" food. (Don't ask us, we just follow the manual they gave us when we left the store, er, I mean hosptial with him.) He seemed to enjoy about 63% of the meal. His bib and chin didn't seem to mind the other 37%. We'll see if it helps him sleep
UPDATE: First night of solid food causing sleep experiment was not a rousing success. He woke up after an hour. We'll keep plugging away until we get that elusive full night (heck, five hours would be nice) of sleep.
Another round of vaccinations and black tar heroin injections for the lad this past Thursday. He handled it pretty well all things considered; the screaming barely broke 100 decibels so it was a good time for all. Another thing he almost broke was the doctor's scale. Our wee little lad comes in at 18 pounds and 13 ounces with a length of 26.25 inches. That puts him in the 95th and 83rd percentile. But where he really kicks ass and takes names is head size. 46 centimeters baby! 99th percentile! KA-BAM! (Don't ask us why the first two measurements are in English while head size is in metric. We are just lackadaisical parents that let our kid play with knives and power tools.)
Another fun occurrence this weekend was Jonah's first baby-sitting adventure with Grandpa Jay and Grandma Eileen. Everyone escaped unscathed (even the parents) and everyone had a great time. Coincidentally, this marked the first time that Mom and Dad have seen a movie in a theater in about 5 months. Movie of choice: Little Miss Sunshine. Twas an entertaining flick but honestly, after 5 months of not setting foot in a theater, Gigli on the big screen would have rocked their world. One would think that with this chance for freedom the parent's of Jonah (POJ) would have headed off to the nearest bed to get some solid sleep but that's not the way the POJ roll. They live! They venture out into the world and park illegally! They watch movies with strangers sitting right next to them! They eat two big tubs of popcorn! West side! Represent!
The Biggest Little Baby In The Union met The Biggest Little State In The Union last week. The 1,048,319 inhabitants of Little Rhody (as well as some of our neighbors in Massachusetts and Connecticut) probably heard the squeals of joy when grandson #1 arrived at Chez Memere (that's Grandma's House for all you non-French Canadians out there). From there it was pretty much a game of pass the baby as numerous great-aunts, great-uncles, an uncle, a grandfather, some grandmothers and second cousins showed up to manhandle the little man. Great fun for Mom and Dad. And no one dropped him! Yay!
But now our arms are weak and scrawny from not carrying the boy while we were there. We probably should have carted around a 20 pound bag of potatoes while he wasn't in our arms. Other than that, twas a great trip and everyone had fun fun fun while sweating sweating sweating. Mom and Dad each managed to finish a couple of books which hasn't happened in eons.
Today marked the first Father's Day for the dear old male parental unit of Jonah. The wee one celebrated this momentous occasion by coughing up some dough for a pie baking class at a local cooking school. The jury is still out on whether or not this was entirely self-serving on Jonah's part. He does seem to like pie so we are ready for "GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!" Dad also got a delicious waffle breakfast as well as a cooking apron (for aforementioned pie class). Finally, the tot also kindly refrained from defecating any time he was held by his Dad, which is the best gift he could have given to his Dad (sorry Mom). Good times are here indeed!
Jonah went on his first trip to a museum today. Got a chance to see the looted Klimts that are currently on display at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. He didn't seem too impressed as he fell asleep as soon as we walked in the door. I guess his art tastes don't run towards early century Vienesse artists. Perhaps Der Blaue Reiters?
Besides museum visits, the latest proclivities of Jonah include jamming both hands into his mouth and trying to suck the fingernails off, drooling all over the front of whatever article of clothing he is wearing and squirming away from whatever is constraining him (e.g. Mom, Dad, car seat, straight jacket, etc). The kid is a natural contortionist let me tell you. He can almost touch the back of his head to his butt. Must have been all the in utero yoga.
The Doctor's appointment on Friday went as well as could be expected considering The Boy was turned into a human pin cushion. He got his shots of DTAP, Comvax, Prevnar and Drano without too much crying. So, if one is to believe the pharmaceutical industry, he shouldn't turn into a werewolf during the next full moon.
The Boy also got weighed and measured by the minions of the doctor. "Little" Jonah is up to 15 pounds and 23 inches in length. And this was after he took a huge crap. No wonder he's so difficult to lift these days. This elicited a "Holy sh*t, that's a big bruiser" from the doctor. Despite comments to the contrary from a certain aunt's co-worker, he is doing fine according to the doctor. So fine, that we can blow off the 3 month doctor's appointment if we want. So take that parent of one-year-old-and-only-16-pounds baby!
Math problem for the kids: If Jonah and his Dad together on a scale weigh 254 pounds, how much time should Daddy spend avoiding baking Tarte Tatin's?
Not only did Jonah turn 2 months old on May 14th, he also got a chance to celebrate his first Mother's Day with The Brecker. The giggles (from Jonah) were in high form throughout the week as the Mother's Day cards poured into the house and Mom begrudginly accepted her fate. By Sunday, she was loving every minute of it because Jonah baked her a delicious Tarte Tatin as well as a fancy card with his picture in it. Somehow, the little one also managed to whip up her favorite appetizer, Real Food Daily's Lentil Pate. Mmmmmm! Where does he find the time?
Two month check up this Friday for the wee tyke. He's getting three shots so make sure you are all wearing your ear plugs around 4:30 P.M. PST. It's going to get REAL noisy. Stay tuned for exciting updates from shell shocked parents.
JBM turned 49 days old today. He is 0.13% of the way towards 100 years old! Time is running out! He better start walking and talking so he can do all the things that he wants to do. So far, those things include screaming as loud as he can from about 6PM to 8PM, staring at the big window that we have in our living room and smiling every so often at his parents.
Woo boy! The boy just keeps getting bigger and bigger. During the last doctor's visit, we learned that little Jonah weighs in at a whopping 11 pounds 10 ounces! For those loyal readers (and we know who you are) counting at home that means a 3 pound increase in four weeks. His growth chart is approaching verticality. And all he's eating is good old fashioned home grown breast milk. Can't weight (ha!) to see how much he puts on when we start feeding him those weight lifting supplements they sell by the oil barrel at the local GNC. Should be fun seeing Dad throw out his back trying to lift the little bundle of love.
Speaking of the doctor's office, Jonah suffered his first heart break. His favorite nurse (Nurse Kittie) is moving onto greener pastures. The trip to Vegas is off. While we wish her the best and will miss her, we also hate her for abandoning our child. Couldn't she have waited until he turned 18?
Thanks to all the dedicated Jonah fans who have written in asking where the heck the new photos are. We promise to post more often as soon as we win the lottery and hire the army of nannies it requires to keep Jonah happy.
Yowza! Jonah turned two weeks old today. We also had another doctor's appointment to celebrate his birth and increase the size of his fan club. Nurse Kitty has fallen under the spell of Jonah. I saw the two of them talking about a "quick trip to Vegas."
The little tyke weighs in at 9 lbs. and 14.8 oz. Uh, I guess he's not so little. He's gaining about 10 oz. per week right now. Actually, the average is probably more because he lost a few ounces while he was in the hospital but I'm too exhausted to do the math right now. If this keeps up, we should have a formidable middle linebacker by the time he's 7. He only put on about 0.75 of an inch in length though so sadly we won't have a basketball player. NFL, the phone lines are open.
I guess now would be the time to start making jokes about Jonah eating the whale and whatnot. Fire away if you dare to mock my son. I have some choice "packages" that Jonah put together especially for you.
We brought Jonah home yesterday and it's been great so far. All of his relatives and friends have been stopping by to say HI and marvel at his cheeks. People who pay the door fee also get to pick him up and hold him. It hasn't been scientifically proven yet but carrying him around will cure what ails ya! So bring your wallet.
Jonah Brecker Mason was born today (March 14th) at 2:43PM in Santa Monica. Weighing in a 8 lbs and 10 oz with a length of 20.5 inches making him the strongest baby IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Luckily, he won't have to use his brawn, because he is also the smartest baby IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Needless to say, Gillian (who is a champ and is doing swimingly all things considered) and Seth are quite proud of their little tenderfoot.